But I do pray for these hurting babies, and maybe that's what I'm really here for. And I listen to them, and help keep them safe. It isn't much, though maybe it's more than I know. I remember when I had to leave my own child here. I'm glad someone cared for and listened to him. Glad they kept him safe.
I used to be Claudia Mair Burney, multibook contracted author! Now my name is Claudia Love Mair. That really is my name! And I mostly keep kids on a mental health ward safe. Sometimes it bothers me that I'm not the author so much now. Sometimes it doesn't.
Sr. Thea Bowman once said that the difference between her and most people was she was content to do her little bit. What a brave posture. I do my little bit, but with a gnawing hunger for more, and little contentment. But today I feel awfully small, and it seems like all I have is a little bit. And it's freeing to think that's all I've been entrusted with today: sit in the hall. Keep kids safe. Pray for them. Be content. It's doable. Maybe even heroic, in the ordinary way of people showing up for their own lives, and trying to do no harm is heroic.
I've been neglecting my year long discipline to take self portraits, but here is one today. I am in my hallway, grasping for some love of being here (notice my heart frame!).
This hospital is where I am, much of the time, and in truth, it's not a bad place to be. I can love this moment. This really small, right now thing. And leave it at that.
I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? And thanks for being here.