So, I have been busy, dolls, creating a life. A big, juicy life. It is vastly different than the life I'm living now, as a humble, virus afflicted daycare center worker. In the life I'm creating I'm the Sunshine Abbess, and it's my job to play with you in prayer and worship. It's some serious fun we're having, and you know what, we love this shared journey.
Only today I'm dragging. I left work after 8 pm tonight, and I still feel kinda sucky from another virus. Financial issues poke at me, telling me that my dreams are impossible. This, my friends, is the optimum time to have faith.
You can't see the outcome when you have faith, even with bright hope shining in your face. You only know the next month or few months will require walking on water, so you take off your Chuck Taylor All Stars--they'll be ruined!--and you put on some Wellies, or better yet go at it barefoot. I mean, when you walk on water probably the least of your concerns is getting your feet wet. Peter freaked out when he walked on water because the weather was bad, as if clear skies made it easier to walk those waves. How silly we humans are.
I've done an awful lot of stressing about things I have no control over right now--the hole in my bank account, the lack of funds for the trainings I want so badly to attend, the lack of tech knowledge to create the virtual monastery of my dreams. So I take a breath, stand back, and determine to simplify. God doesn't despise small beginnings, and I have to trust that if you, dear reader, come here, you'll stopover at the Abbey next week, even if it isn't high tech, and you'll continue to partake in the beautiful life with God with me. It doesn't have to be a flash wonder. And I have to trust that the Lord wouldn't lead me to the training, open the doors for me to attend, and not provide the means for me to go.
I do have a tiny miracle, maybe a first step in my ocean motion: I had a great meeting with a well-respected and much loved publisher. It went very, very well, and for a few hours-- longer that that, really, I was certain that all things are possible, especially what my heart desires most right now--that awesome expressive arts teacher training! Not to mention that God knows how much I want a new book contract. He knows it all.
Will you pray with me? I want you to be as big a part as my new life as you have been in the fullness of my Ragamuffin Divatude.
I love you so,