Tuesday, August 24, 2010

3 Things

Okay, so I'm totally stalled here. Blogging is my last ditch effort to climb out of depression instead of just lying down, but I must tell you, climbing out of depression is ridiculously hard. It's like saying, "snap out of it," to yourself, when you know good and well you can't snap anything, much less out of anything. Depression is the great numb-er. But I do have to live. I choose to live, and if I choose life, I may have to do a fine imitation of the living.

Yesterday, when I finally did sleep and wake up, I said I'd do 3 things. Three things are better than the nothings I have been doing. I don't really remember what they were now, but I suspect one thing was to get out of bed. Not only did I get out of it, I washed my bed linens. Nothing like fresh bedding to climb back into when you've exhausted yourself by getting out of bed and washing sheets and a comforter. I got dressed, too. This was a glorious triumph!

I know it sounds silly to talk about my three things as if they were a big deal, but if you've ever gone through a major depressive episode, you know I'm not exaggerating. I have to do three more things today. Oh, I can start by getting out of bed (once I finally get some sleep), but I also have do different stuff. I'd like to finish my friend Frederica's book. We'll be talking about it here in a few days (heaven help me!) I have to complete a project I've been tinkering with for over a year for someone. I feel sooo guilty that I haven't finished it. And it will be good to get it done, and into his hands. That will be one less weight to carry. Beyond that, who knows? I guess we'll see what the day brings.


Reihaisha said...

I will pary for you today to be able to finish your three things. I would offer a fourth to listen to " Hold me Jeseus" by Rich Mullins. It has helped my on many a dark day.
Be blessed my sister

Renee said...

praying for you Claudia

~Leslie said...

i so understand this.
it's hard on days like these.
making a goal helps! (i've used this technique as well).
loving and praying for you, love!

Juanita said...

Depression has been a consuming part of my life at times as well...I'm so sorry when I hear of anyone going through this dark valley. May God comfort and strength you...one day at a time.

CeCe Wilson said...

I'm praying for you too, dear sis. Thing One is hardest, isn't it? But it sounds like you're already well on your way. I share my hope with you today: May the Lifter of your head give you many reasons to smile today. :0) Thanks for being a poured out blessing!