Tuesday, April 27, 2010
In one of my moments of not very quiet desperation, I asked a fellow St. Francis lover and friend if he ever suffered from depression. He hadn't. Ever. But his wife had. Then I asked if she ever felt conflicted about taking medication for it. Turns out she had, but she took it anyway because she knew what happened when she didn't. I get it.
I've been taking a medicine for fibromyalgia pain that is also used to treat depression. MERCY! Even if I could continue to endure the new onset of migraines and pummeling depression, call me crazy, but it just seems a little counter-productive if the pain is worse, too. Like, much worse. Sometimes finding relief from symptoms feels like I'm playing Russian roulette with my brain. It takes weeks before I realize the awful way I feel it isn't just me--how I am. It's actually the medicine that is supposed to help me feel better.
I don't have the money for alternative therapies, so I'm left with Medicaid, which I thank God for! I'm not a person who is opposed to pharmaceuticals, I happen to know a few saved my life. But I'm having a hell of a time, literally, finding a combination that's working. Currently, I'm on Wellbutrin and Savella. The addition of the Savella seems to be the trouble. I made an appointment to drag myself back to the doctor, and to the proverbial drawing board, but...
I don't know. I think I'll ask to see a pain management specialist.
My dear friends, do you have any other thoughts on what I should do? Do you know of someone I can talk to? Chime in anytime.