Friday, June 26, 2009

I've missed y'all, but... um... I'm still not back yet.

So, I've been busy. Mostly finishing the Teresa of Avila book, which is going to be a whole lot of fun, lovies. I don't want you to miss it. This is my first non-fiction book, so it was a real learning experience--completely different from writing a novel. And I must admit, I loved writing it. Initially I wanted to call it "Let Nothing Upset You: A Playful Pilgrimage With Teresa of Avila." The first part of the title is the first line of her famous bookmark prayer. Then, I started to favor the last line of the prayer, "God Alone is Enough." By the time I finished that book, I realized that was Teresa's real message.

Before I really hit stride with the book I had an unusual period of confusion about prayer. I felt like I hadn't discovered my own prayer style. I beat myself up about not continuing with certain practices, like Liturgy of the Hours and the Rosary. Somehow, my simple being with God, and talking to Him felt inadequate. I even went to confession and told my priest, "My prayer life has dwindled to nothing." That kind man told me, "Don't worry about your prayer life. God won't let you go." And wasn't that a lovely thing to say. So I didn't worry. I read and read Teresa's words, and I worked. By the time I finished journey with Teresa and her adventures in prayer I felt like a new woman, at least where prayer is concerned.

I've been thinking about you all. I'm sorry I'm not blogging. There are a lot of life changes going on for me, and to tell the truth, it's hard to keep up. I also have a book due July 1st, The Exorsistah 3. I just don't have much to offer here. But I do think of you.

Will you pray for me? I realized in the last few days how hard all this change is, and I hadn't really acknowledge a persistant, nagging depression. But it demands my attention now. I'm going to take care of myself. You know I'll be back when I can.

I'd like to leave you with a bit of prayer advice from my beloved Teresa of Avila. I won't do a longer excerpt, because the book isn't edited. Who knows what will keep and what my friend and editor will leave on the literary "cutting room floor."

May God bless you and keep you. May He grant you magnificent peace. I'll be back soon. You have to help me get ready for the Christy Awards on July 11th! Meanwhile, take it easy, even in prayer.


Teresa’s Easy Instructions For Being With the Beloved

Place yourself in the presence of Christ.
Don’t wear yourself out trying to make sense of spiritual matters.
Simply speak with your Beloved.
Delight with Him.
Lay your needs at his feet.
Acknowledge that He has every right to deny you His company
(but He doesn’t).
There is a time for thinking,
and a time for being.

adapted from The Book of My Life, translated by Mirabai Starr, p. 98