Wednesday, May 06, 2009

I'm Back!

That was some long break, eh? And I didn't even give you any warning that I'd be gone. Frankly, I had no idea I'd go MIA, and truth be told, I didn't go anywhere, though my beloved MacBook had a brief hospitalization at the Apple Store, but she came back good as new.

No, I think I've just been in a chrysalis of sorts. Yes, butterflies again, a recurring theme in my life. I've read they are a symbol for the soul. They sure are of this ragamuffin's soul. My chrysalis has been a thin place, that weird waiting room in the spirit, between who you are now, and who you are becoming. Between where you are now, and where you are going. And finally, the woman I'm becoming seems strong enough to show her face. The fresh air feels good, but I'm not flying just yet.

Have you ever seen a butterfly emerge out of a chrysalis? Of course, they go in looking rather wormy. And then it gets really quiet, and you have no idea what's happening. I had no idea what was happening. That was something for God's eyes only to see. I can tell you this though, on the other side of that experience, I don't feel like a worm so much, but I'm not quite sure how to be a magnificent butterfly. Let's just say I'm a work in progress.

But back to my really convoluted metaphor. So, this reformed creature finally pushes its way out of it's containment sporting a brand new pair of wings. Yes, wings! But they're covered with something that looks suspiciously like blood. That image always makes me think of new birth. Birth is a bloody affair. I know this. I've given birth a (large) number of times.

The dazzling just-born butterfly is sorta hanging out, flapping those fresh wings, and going a whole lot of nowhere. Or so it seems. I think when we come out of our chrysalis' we need a little time before we cleave the air. So we just flap, flap, flap, practicing, building our flying muscles, because when we fly, we're gone, baby!

A lot has happened between my trip to Lexington, Lent, and this stormy morning in Motown. It appears when I fly, like the birdies, I'll go South. To Lexington, Kentucky. To stay! How this is all happening is so steeped in mystery and grace I can't even begin to tell you. But I will! Or at least some of it. Soon! Suffice it to say right now I have no idea how we'll accomplish moving across country in three months, but God is with us. It's He Who will keep my little family of butterflies once we take flight. I'm grateful for ridiculously amazing grace that my friend Gail says seems to fall out of the sky and land on me. And lovies, it's true. My Father is very, very fond of me.

Yeah, I feel a little sassier by the minute.

I changed my look a bit. Got this spiky 'do. I told the stylist I wanted to look like a rock star, and he did not disappoint me! See my bling? Okay, it's kinda bohemian and not really blingalicious at all, but I love it. I've been spending more time with my boyfriend. For all of you who almost had a heart attack, Ken, that guy I married, is my boyfriend. As my boyfriend he seems to buy me more jewelry. He really likes that Mair to look fresh! I'm not knocking it. The benefits of having a boyfriend are delightful. So, I've been looking like a butterfly, too. And my friend Mary and I have started Dr. Ian Smith's Fat Smash Diet. I need to smash my fat! Badly!

Around the first of the year I said this would be the year of my Tobit journey. Apparently I missed the point at the time. I thought I would journey to riches I didn't even realize I had, but instead, I found myself like Tobit, poor and blind, but given a remarkable healing and deliverance, by God's grace.

And just like Tobit, Angels are surely walking with me, as if they were my kinsmen for sure.

Much love,


mystele said...

i've been thinking of you! i'm glad you posted, and i am THRILLED to see you! oh my goodness, lady- you are absolutely gorgeous...thank you for showing your "insides", too- i truly appreciate your candid writing. i feel stronger after having been here. no wonder gina treasures you!

ragamuffin diva said...

Hiya, Mystele!

It's good to hear from you, as always. I miss you, too. And I miss making art like crazy!

Two more deadlines, and I'm a free woman.

Love ya!

Heidi Renee said...

keen-tucky!! i am delighted for ya'll (you have to start using that word now mare!)

please keep us posted - i am dreaming about getting down there at some point to meet you all f2f (and now that i only have to move in one direction instead of 2 it might be more likely???)

have missed your words!

ragamuffin diva said...

I know, right, Heidi. I've been Keen-tucky dreaming since Will and Lisa moved there. The funny thing is, my family is actually from Kentucky. I use to spend time in the summers there. So, once again, quite to my surprise, I'm going "home." It's pretty darned fabulous.

And I would be so happy to receive you. At long last.

Love you, girl.

Joe said...

Now you're that much closer to Texas. (Yeah, selfish man that I am.)

I feel happy for you and Ken and the whole family.

Keen-tucky, baby.

Bluegrass country.

Grace and peace -- Joe

Alison Strobel Morrow said...

Kentucky?! Can't wait to hear this story! :)

Still gonna be at ICRS this July? PLEASE say yes!

Danica/Dream said...

Love the sassy picture! How exciting that you are taking this step of faith.

Elysa said...

I was hoping, just hoping, that if I clicked on your blog link today that I'd see something new. And I did!!!! Yippeeeee!!!!!

And Lexitown is a WHOLE lot closer to Mississip than Motown. So if God don't take us on a reunion trip to Africa soon, maybe a roadtrip to Kentuck will be in order sometime around the corner.

I miss you.


Sarah Bessey said...

Yay! Glad to "see" you here again! I kept checking back, wondering if my Reader just wasn't getting your stuff through.

Glad to hear you're headed where your heart already is. I'm a little sad though...if I'd known you were up for a change, I would have started to recruit you to Canada! :-)

P.S. Love your new haircut! It's fabulous and brave and beautiful.

Caldonia Sun said...

So good to see you back! And may I say, you look mahvelous!!

wilsonian said...

Wow! On all counts.
I've got to get that MI visit in first!

Shelbie said...


I loved Exorsistah and glad to see you're back! I'm looking for the sequel girl!

Shelbie M. Moore
-Teen Author/Poet