That was some long break, eh? And I didn't even give you any warning that I'd be gone. Frankly, I had no idea I'd go MIA, and truth be told, I didn't go anywhere, though my beloved MacBook had a brief hospitalization at the Apple Store, but she came back good as new.
No, I think I've just been in a chrysalis of sorts. Yes, butterflies again, a recurring theme in my life. I've read they are a symbol for the soul. They sure are of this ragamuffin's soul. My chrysalis has been a thin place, that weird waiting room in the spirit, between who you are now, and who you are becoming. Between where you are now, and where you are going. And finally, the woman I'm becoming seems strong enough to show her face. The fresh air feels good, but I'm not flying just yet.
Have you ever seen a butterfly emerge out of a chrysalis? Of course, they go in looking rather wormy. And then it gets really quiet, and you have no idea what's happening. I had no idea what was happening. That was something for God's eyes only to see. I can tell you this though, on the other side of that experience, I don't feel like a worm so much, but I'm not quite sure how to be a magnificent butterfly. Let's just say I'm a work in progress.
But back to my really convoluted metaphor. So, this reformed creature finally pushes its way out of it's containment sporting a brand new pair of wings. Yes, wings! But they're covered with something that looks suspiciously like blood. That image always makes me think of new birth. Birth is a bloody affair. I know this. I've given birth a (large) number of times.
The dazzling just-born butterfly is sorta hanging out, flapping those fresh wings, and going a whole lot of nowhere. Or so it seems. I think when we come out of our chrysalis' we need a little time before we cleave the air. So we just flap, flap, flap, practicing, building our flying muscles, because when we fly, we're gone, baby!
A lot has happened between my trip to Lexington, Lent, and this stormy morning in Motown. It appears when I fly, like the birdies, I'll go South. To Lexington, Kentucky. To stay! How this is all happening is so steeped in mystery and grace I can't even begin to tell you. But I will! Or at least some of it. Soon! Suffice it to say right now I have no idea how we'll accomplish moving across country in three months, but God is with us. It's He Who will keep my little family of butterflies once we take flight. I'm grateful for ridiculously amazing grace that my friend Gail says seems to fall out of the sky and land on me. And lovies, it's true. My Father is very, very fond of me.
Yeah, I feel a little sassier by the minute.
I changed my look a bit. Got this spiky 'do. I told the stylist I wanted to look like a rock star, and he did not disappoint me! See my bling? Okay, it's kinda bohemian and not really blingalicious at all, but I love it. I've been spending more time with my boyfriend. For all of you who almost had a heart attack, Ken, that guy I married, is my boyfriend. As my boyfriend he seems to buy me more jewelry. He really likes that Mair to look fresh! I'm not knocking it. The benefits of having a boyfriend are delightful. So, I've been looking like a butterfly, too. And my friend Mary and I have started Dr. Ian Smith's Fat Smash Diet. I need to smash my fat! Badly!
Around the first of the year I said this would be the year of my Tobit journey. Apparently I missed the point at the time. I thought I would journey to riches I didn't even realize I had, but instead, I found myself like Tobit, poor and blind, but given a remarkable healing and deliverance, by God's grace.
And just like Tobit, Angels are surely walking with me, as if they were my kinsmen for sure.