Many people have rallied around the ministry To Write Love On Her Arms. The ministry offers grace and healing to people who suffer from depression, addiction, self-injury, and are at risk for suicide. Lord, have mercy, I've known some of those affictions. I wish I had their help back in the day.
On a very bad day, sixteen years ago, I etched my pain into my wrist. I was young, a battered woman, and so depressed I prayed for God to give me cancer so I can die without the scandal of committing suicide. God, my merciful Father, did not give me what I asked for, praise His holy name. But that day, I didn't wait for cancer. I carved one jagged unsure line in one wrist with a stolen razor blade. I watched my blood bead on the surface, and I still wanted to die. Then I carved another into the other wrists, this time a firm resolved line. But God was good to me. Something still alive inside raged against the dying of the light. I called an ambulance lovies, and became my own hero. There was no TWLOHA to offer me assistance, or if it were, I didn't know it.
That was a long time ago, and even now as I recount this I'm in tears, grieving for the lost beloved child I God I was.
My act marked me, of course. I used to want to cover my scars with bracelets, but I don't like too many bracelets, and it's hard to find one that fits just right. Later, after I'd gotten my first tattoo, I thought one day I might put a tat there. I could never quite think of what would be right. My bff, Lisa told me a pretty famous writer we know has a dogwood flower she got in her seventies, lovies! She thought dogwood flowers were perfect for my scars, and for a while, so did I. I also thought about roses. If you've read Wounded, you'd know the significance they have for me. If you haven't read Wounded, read it lovies. I'd like to stay in the writing business, and can't if nobody buys my books. LOL. Once I got the dogwood flowers on my shoulder I wondered if that really was the symbol to go there, as much as I loved the symbolism. Then one day, on an artist I love's blog, I saw a tattoo that stunned me. I knew that was the one. I only told my family and one friend, and she cried when I told her. My family didn't love the idea, but the fact is, love really does cover a multitude of sins. If anything should cover my scars it should be love. Simply that.
I am honored to have such a talented husband, who creates such beauty and shares it with me. Tonight, he joined Jesus in writing love on my arms, or rather, my wounded wrists.
Isn't it magnificent? I don't know if you can sense this too, but it seems like this is the beginning of a lot of healing for me. I'm so happy I can hardly stand it.