Thursday, January 01, 2009
Happy New Soul
Okay, check out a sistah's new blog look. I was tired of all that black. Ha! This will be funny to people who know me and see me rock black clothing ALL THE TIME, but I'm sentimental. I make New Year's resolutions and every January 1st fills me with outrageous hope. Though I loved my last blogger template, with the hot pink butterflies. In my soul I'm feeling much more pink than black. And now I've got flowers! Wheeeeeeeeee!
This transformation may have began in November, when I was given the amazing gift of being able to read an advance copy of Brennan Manning's new book The Furious Longing of God. Oh my, lovies. Its stunning. Magnificent! I didn't think I'd love any of his books more than The Ragamuffin Gospel, but I do. That's BIG!
One of the best things about the book was his liberal use of bridal theology. Brennan really knows what a passionate love affair with God is all about. He quoted several times from The Song of Songs.
I've had lots of pain in the past few weeks (which is why you didn't get to see the rest of the Jesse Tree ornaments and read my reflections). But I'm learning to be kind to myself, and do what I can do. I've also been trying to listen to the sweet whispers of Jesus, even on the days when I can't do much more than that. I felt like the Shulamite many days, "I sleep, but my heart is awake. I hear my Love, Jesus, knocking, saying, "Open to me, my sister, my beloved, my dove, my perfect one...'" The Song of Songs 5:2.
:::sigh::: Got a little tearful there. Jesus just called me His perfect one. Again. What a romantic He is. And I'm trying to wrap my mind (and heart) around it being so loved He sees me as perfect. Talk about good news!
Have you ever read that passage? Here's a spoiler if you haven't. She ends of missing Him altogether, basically because she was naked and her feet were dirty. Now if that doesn't sound like the spirit of me, I don't know what does. I've missed my Beloved so many times, feeling so raw and vulnerable, so unclean. I head His voice, and trembled to the core of my being (5:4 Gotta read it in The Jerusalem Bible. Yum). Yet, I didn't open right away. So many times He thrust His hand through the door of my heart to reach me, and I just stood there feeling all unworthy.
I mean, I tried. Like the Shulamite I've risen to open to my Love (5:5), with an offering of sweetness dripping from my hands. I've been sick with God-love, and missed Him just the same.
Oh, Lord. How I've gone through the streets. I've been beaten and wounded. I've called and couldn't find my Love. Ended up stripped and ashamed. Thank God those days are far behind me now. Today, I am certain:
"I belong to my Love, and my Love to me." (6:3)
The worst is over. My sights are set on the mountains where He is coming toward me. My ears have attended to the sound of his footfalls.
"I hear my Love. See how He comes leaping on the mountains, bounding over the hills. My Love is like a gazelle, like a young stag.
See where He stands behind our wall. He looks in the window, He peers through the opening.
My Love lifts up His voice, He says to me, 'Come then, my beloved, my lovely one, come. For see, the winter is past, the rains are over and gone.
Flowers are appearing on the earth. The season of glad songs has come, the cooing of the turtledove is heard in our land.
The fig tree is forming it's first figs, and the blossoming vines gie out their fragrance.
'Come the, my beloved. My lovely one, come.'"
I'm answering YES to the call. My heart has thawed and Spring arrived early. I can almost taste the succor of figs on my tongue. I am not just considering the lilies; I am blooming myself. My soul is brand new.
Happy New Year,