Jane Kenyon had it right:
Coarse, mean, you'll put your feet
on the coffee table, lean back,
and turn me into someone who can't
take the trouble to speak; someone
who can't sleep, or who does nothing
but sleep; can't read, or call
for an appointment for help.
There is nothing I can do
against your coming.
When I awake, I am still with thee.
I am grateful that I understand God--the HOLY Ghost--is still with me too, and He is greater than depression. That doesn't mean I don't feel the unpleasant talons of this unwanted visitor clawing at my poor, battered brain. I feel it, until I don't feel anything.
I am completely shocked at the shell I've become in such a short time. I'll return when I can. Until then I rely on your kind prayers.