Sunday, November 11, 2007

Holy GAUCAMOLE that took long!!!

I have the assurance of why I love the teeny weeny afro. Teeny weeny afros are really cute, cheap to rock, and do not make my spine feel as if it is going to collapse on itself.

I went back to Nina this morning, having spent five hours with her yesterday. I spent another ten with her today.

Yes. Another ten.

It wasn't all her fault. Most zillions are done with two or three braiders in shops. Nina is on her own, and I'd dare say a good many of her customers do not have a really bad case of Fibromyalgia Disorder slash Chronic Pain Disorder (believe it or not, some doctors say those are two different things).

I went in for the zillions in a fit of African missionary inspired inspiration. The worst part is that is absolutely a true statement. I wanted to try out hairstyles. I wanted something that would hold up for international travel for a couple of weeks, and still make me look fabulous! I'd forgotten it takes several years off one's life span to get zillions. My spine forgot. All I could see was one fly missionary being the hands and feet of Jesus with really cute hair. Even though nobody I'd actually serve would care what my hair looks like. And YES! I know that's vain. Do not think for one moment I'm not vain! I want to look cute! I wear all day lipstick even when I am sick and languishing in misery in bed, but darn it, I've got the most kissable lips for a semi conscious person you'd ever want to see!

I don't want to look twenty, but darn it, I want to work 43 like it'll be gone next year. And yes! I need prayer about that. Don't say I never gave you anything to talk to God about.

But I digress...

After about eight hours I still had a goodly portion of hair left in the front, but if Nina didn't stop braiding she'd have to finish on my corpse! She offered to cornrow the front to save time, and God knows, by then I may have let her talk me into keeping a small tuft of "afno" in the front as a fashion statement. But she didn't want me to go out like that, and I couldn't take anymore.

So, now I've got cornrow/zillions! And THANK GOD I'm done. The next few weeks will spent determining whether or not I will try this EVENT again before I head to the Motherland.

A teeny weeny afro sounds really good tonight. And I did notice that girl cannot rock a hairstyle that cost so much financially and PHYSICALLY when she is ready to rip out her spine with her bare hands, hold it up to God, and say, "Can we try that again, please?"

You know, I could play with color for the low 'fro. Get a fierce lining. And don't a lot of women and girls in Swaziland wear their hair like that anyway??? I'd be right at home.

Ack! What an ordeal.

Pax et Bonum,
vain mair


wilsonian said...

You're gorgeous!
Cute and gorgeous!

paula clare said...

SISTUH! WHOA! WOW! You look MAHvelous, truly! I would have asked said hair stylist to please put the corn rows and zillions in extra pull up the double chin and/or the line or two that MIGHT give away my age! Hairdo AND a facelift...sounds like a party!

I am weary of the hairdresser after a shampoo and cut...I cannot FATHOM sitting in a chair for 10 hours. OMG I'm afraid I'd have been looking for an uzi and a bell tower somewhere...(sorry for the violence...I'm just sayin...)

SHEESH! But well worth it, I'd say. I'll bet your dear sainted husband can't keep his hands off of you! You GO GIRL!

Elysa said...

Mair, I will join you in admitting that all my thoughts of our upcoming Swazi trip are not purely spiritual. And I won't name names, but I'll tell you that another tripping lady and I have exchanged quite the number of emails about this very same subject.

I'm considering doing the white girl's (and in my case, that's a literal description) version of hair torture...the spiral perm! I'm not ready to chop off my locks but I sure would like a no-hassle hair do that I can also feel good about and not feel like I have to hide my head everytime the camera comes out.

I know those darling little Swazi kids don't care...but vain ole 41 year old moi cares. I know, I know....vanity, vanity....

So you can sport your zillions and I'll sport my springy curls and we'll be both be smiling ecstatically in our looking-good lips...though I really need to get me some of that amazing lipstick that you keep obsessing about. ;)

Oh...and yes, the fro is the style of choice for most Swazis and the traditional one is actually called a beehive if I'm remembering correctly. The old Queen Mother had the epitome of one...and the traditional build curves to finish the look as well. I'll have to see if I can find a piccha for you.

Praying your back and everything else is better soon...not to mention, your poor braiders fingers!!!

Love you and MWA-A-A-AAH!

Elysa said...

P.S. All the above said, we could both blow vanity to the winds and wrap our heads in a scarf which is also a VERY Swazi thing to do.

But that, dear ragamuffin sisi, would be WAY too easy!

Alison Strobel Morrow said...

I love them!!!!!!

And girl, I so get the hair thing. The whole looking-for-something-adventurous thing. The whole "I'm so bored with this look" thing. You remember my haircutting angst. :) Wish I could pull off a tiny 'fro! Sadly, I'd look like a military recruit and not a hot n' sexy mama like yo'self. ;)

Cathy West said...

Way cool. Don't envy you for the torture part of it, but it's a great look for you. How do they come out? Do you just shave your head??? BAHAHAHA!
I am praying you feel a hundred percent better really, really soon!

Amy A. said...

You are totally rocking 43. Love it.

Dany said...

Who you talkin bout Ms. Elysa????

We're all gonna be gorgeous! (At least in our own minds)... :):)

I remember years ago I braided a girls hair - you know that movie "10" bead thing. It took me 8 hours - - no fun! But, she looked cute!
Mair, you look fabulous and I hope you're feeling better. Love Ya - Dany