Friday, November 09, 2007
Blessed Are the Sleepy?
Sometimes I feel for all the world like this sunflower, all my petals folded inward. Feeling a little too green to bust out like the other sunflowers in the patch, loud and proud and "look at me!"
I don't want anybody to look at me today. My blood plunged to 97 over 63 and stayed that way for awhile. I tumbled to the floor in the living room by the bookshelf. When Ken didn't hear me calling him I crawled upstairs to bed and slept for hours.
I couldn't write.
I couldn't be a good, involved mommy.
The only thing I could do with any conviction was listen to what my body screamed it needed (at least it's what I could hear). My body may be screaming for a lot. Vitamins. Water. Fruit. Raw almonds. I dunno. I couldn't hear all that today. All I heard was... sleep.
So I did.
But not without guilt. Not without the feeling that I was committed a deadly sin. But what if I was doing exactly what God wanted at the moment. Even expected. 97/60 is pretty low. Maybe God looked down and said, "Go to sleep. Blessed are the sleepy, for they shall have rest."
And in His perfect will, I did it.
Sometimes I think He makes things just that simple. It's me who usually mucks it all up.
Pray for me. I'll pray for you, too.
Photo from ellabites.blogspot.com