Friday, November 09, 2007

Blessed Are the Sleepy?


Sometimes I feel for all the world like this sunflower, all my petals folded inward. Feeling a little too green to bust out like the other sunflowers in the patch, loud and proud and "look at me!"

I don't want anybody to look at me today. My blood plunged to 97 over 63 and stayed that way for awhile. I tumbled to the floor in the living room by the bookshelf. When Ken didn't hear me calling him I crawled upstairs to bed and slept for hours.

I couldn't write.

I couldn't be a good, involved mommy.

The only thing I could do with any conviction was listen to what my body screamed it needed (at least it's what I could hear). My body may be screaming for a lot. Vitamins. Water. Fruit. Raw almonds. I dunno. I couldn't hear all that today. All I heard was... sleep.

So I did.

But not without guilt. Not without the feeling that I was committed a deadly sin. But what if I was doing exactly what God wanted at the moment. Even expected. 97/60 is pretty low. Maybe God looked down and said, "Go to sleep. Blessed are the sleepy, for they shall have rest."

And in His perfect will, I did it.

Sometimes I think He makes things just that simple. It's me who usually mucks it all up.

Pray for me. I'll pray for you, too.
mair

Photo from ellabites.blogspot.com

10 comments:

Alison Strobel Morrow said...

Oh sister, that's scary. You need sleep. Your body is so depleted right now of so many necessities. Please please take care of yourself. You can't fulfill a contract if you're comatose in a hospital. Taking some time off to sleep or exercise or fill the creative well with some good reading or painting or to play with your kids is well worth the sacrificed time. You can't create if you're dead, either physically or mentally or spiritually. Wish I could send you to a spa; you need it!

ragamuffin diva said...

I appreciate what you did send! And the girlfriend, BFF love you give every time we chat.

Hey, Spa Day when I visit you and your mom in Cali.

One a dese days, sis. One a dese days!

Wes said...

...living with another precious woman whose blood pressure also does unwelcome dances sometimes, you need to know prayers are going up for you.

...sitting here in the dark before dawn I find myself wanting to send you whispers...hopefully from our Triune God

...rest

...rest, dear daughter of God

...rest...it's OK

...rest in breathing deep and slow

...rest in your slumber

...rest in knowing that angels are all around you

...rest in sensing the touch of their wings all over you

...rest in the smile of your Father God that you are...finally...resting

Paula said...

I'm so glad you slept. I'm reminded of the verse, "He gives His beloved sleep." His grace is all over this. No guilt. Only beauty. Our Lover seeing our need.

Been reading the posts even though I haven't been commenting. Your on my mind and in my heart, always.

Sending prayer your way.

Paula said...

Wow! My new picture just came up. Didn't know I'd figured out how to make it work. Decided I needed to look a little more artsy. Do you like the glasses? Sarah took the picture.

Joni said...

"I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

Marie4thtimemom said...

Echoing the above posts!!!

Hope you're feeling rested and rejuvenated soon!

Elysa said...

Praying that you got lots of sweet sleep.

Love you!
Elysa

paula clare said...

Dear Sistuh,
One of the best writers of a guilt-free book about sleep is SARK...you know, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy? Her books are encouraging...but none moreso than the book, "Change Your Life Without Getting Out of Bed: The Ultimate Nap Book." SARK wrote it while trying to reconcile her body's need for sleep (at what SHE considered inconvenient times)...I was inspired to write the following and place it on my wall:

"Beloved Friend,
There may be times when you need to lounge about in your pajamas all day...it's okay. At least make sure they are CUTE ones...Also, you may find that you occasionally need a nap...have a fluffy pillow, snuggly quilt, and sleep mask awaiting you...24/7. Declare your bed a "Guilt Free" Zone.Do not fight your body's need for rest...pray yourself to sleep."

Some of the best minds in the world create in the time BETWEEN naps...Thomas Edison had a cot set up in his laboratory (and his faithful dog had a doggie bed right next to it). His notes record his taking a nap...sometimes at the same time everyday. And then waking up with renewed creativity and vigor flowing.

In short, if a sistuh needs to sleep, then a sistuh oughta. Period. The end.

May you float away on a fluffy cloud of marshmallow tonight!

nathan Hov said...

Sorry you don't feel good mair. I have been fighting something for about four years now and the Docs can't figure what it is I'm up for a CTscan soon so the resting part sounds great.... and I think that is how God speaks....be prayen for you.