Friday, May 18, 2007
Tagged: 8 Things You Didn't Know About Me
So, about a gazillion people tagged me for this meme. I'm supposed to put the rules here, but I'm so not going to. But I will play along, and then I will liberate the captives. Nobody has to do this after me. Unless you want to. If you do you can put your 8 things right on the comments. So, here are 8 things you didn't know about me, and I had to really think because darn it, I've told you EVERYTHING! So, you may know all this stuff already. Call me an over-sharer. Lord, have mercy!
1. I have a pathological fear of running out of toilet paper. It gets really bad. I'm talking freak out bad. Once my mother got a financial blessing and sent me a very generous check. She wrote at the bottom of it "for toilet paper." Yeah, I inherited much of my dry wit from Trecia.
2. In the hall of fame of really ridiculous things I have said, at a meeting full of really important people someone said to me, "So I heard you love Brennan Manning." And I said. "I'm his biggest fan." And they said. "I heard it's almost unhealthy how much you love him." And just to get a cheap, and I do mean cheap laugh--I was nervous--I said, in a room full of Christian executives. "I would totally sleep with him." Silence. "Just kidding."
This is why--among other reasons--NOBODY will introduce me to Brennan Manning. Honest to God, I will get to Heaven and Jesus won't even introduce me to him. And I was just joking! But I so shouldn't have said that. I know it. Okay? I know it.
Note to Brennan: I'm really, really sorry for saying that, Brennan. I was just nervous and trying to be funny for the marketing people. Marketing people generally like funny. And I said a lot of strange things that week. It was a bad week. I may have been having an episode. I'm not sure. Anyway, I won't try to seduce you. We won't cause a scandal. I promise if we meet I'll just shake your hand and say, "Hi." If you prefer I won't shake your hand. I won't touch you at all. I'll totally abandon my plan to wash your feet with my hair, or have any other excessive displays of emotion. It'll be difficult, but I'll practice starting right now. I can be safe. Just ask the people here.
Okay. Don't ask them.
3. I love miniature things, especially really tiny toys from my childhood. I had a collection of miniature toy key chains until I let my children play with them. They were toast after that. The keychains, that is, not the children, though honestly, the children should have been toast after destroying my collection within what seemed like minutes.
4. I had a madly, truly, deeply, I-want-to-marry-him crush on J.D. Salinger, even after I read most of his works and realized he was a nutjob. That just goes to show you I can't be trusted to judge a man as a romantic interest for myself. If I am ever single again, and God please don't let me be, I will rely on my friends to steer me away from disaster and a certain dangerous man with a name that starts with "J", and I'm not talking about Jerome David Salinger, either!
5. I took band for three years but cannot read a bit of music, nor can I play an instrument. I just went to get out of gym. I wish I'd paid attention. I grieve my inability to play and read music now, but I do like to sing now and then. Band was like high school. A complete wash out.
6. This goes with number 5. High school = washout. I was a high school drop out. Or maybe you do know that about me! If I could go back and do anything, I'd do high school right. I'd listen in history and English composition class, especially. I can't believe what that missing foundation takes away from my life right now.
7. According to my mother, I'm not as black as I think I am. She got mad at me because I was in a really militant phase and I said I was "African". I wasn't even African-American. I was just plain ol' African. She said, "You're more Native American than African." I just stared at her. You can't argue with Trecia. So there. I'm Native American. Cherokee to be specific. At least more Cherokee than African. Yeah. I'm confused, too.
8. I wanted to live in Christian community since I was a teenager and got a hold of Cornerstone magazine. I loved The Rez Band and wanted to be one of the Jesus People USA in Chicago. I just couldn't seem to get myself there. I still grieve that I never lived that way. I didn't tell Lisa this, but when I left Lexington last week, I cried on the plane. I wanted the big crazy house, and the community, all of it. I dedicated Zora and Nicky: A Novel in Black and White to my "Beloved Community" which I am still dreaming of. I am still in deep longing for my Jesus People. Maybe all of you are them. What do you think? Maybe it's playing out in a different way than I dreamed it would.
So that's eight things you (probably) didn't know about me. And you're off the hook. I'm not tagging anybody. It ends here. You are all free! Or you can tell me eight things about you in the comments.
P.S. Ken MADE ME add this post script. He said to tell you--and this is because he was on the RADIO today, on WJLB Detroit, waxing poetic about marriage to me, heaven help him! Anyway, he shamelessly promoted me as an author and that's gonna lead people right here, so he came here to see what I was up to, and as usual he was horrified to see what I actually say here. So he MADE ME tell you that not only did I go back to high school two years after I dropped out, I went to college and got a degree! So, I have a college degree now just in case you didn't know that even though I'm almost sure I said it before. I guess he doesn't want you to think I'm dumb as nails, which is up for debate, college degree or no.
Also, he said my interest in Brennan Manning is "disturbing" and I may not meet him. Ever.
So, that's that.
I hope you're happy, Ken.
infinite 8 image by David Friedman, http://www.kosmic-kabbalah.com/latest_works/latest_works.htm