Sunday, February 06, 2005

That Day that Points to Day

It was that day.

That day that points to Day.

The one after groundhog day, but before the first bud of spring bewitches you with it's perfect beauty. It was cold, but the bright sun awakened such an ache in me that it didn't matter. Freezing was impossible. I had my red cashmere hat and scarf-the one with the pink and purple stripes, and my orange suede gloves. I had my walkman, and Bono rocking me through the streets downtown.

Sometimes, God is silent. Sometimes you press your face against the pane of dark glass, searching for Him and all you see is black, and night, and you know the stars are already dead--just gas, fouling the sky, and in the way.

But then there's that day, the one with the startling sunlight. The one with blue sky, the color of a lover's eyes giving you that look that makes you feel beautiful anyway. The sky that is no longer white, competing with the snow. And the snow, surrenders and lies on the surface of everything, just melting. Making love to the earth. You want to fling your coat over your shoulders. You want to throw your hands in the air. You want to run for no good reason, and you smile at everyone. You give the wino a dollar. Maybe two.

Ah, beloved, it's almost just spring, when the world is puddle wonderful like e.e. cummings sang. Lift your cup to the Lord, and say fill me, fill me, fill me.

And wait for the rain.

It's coming.

I feel You, Abba.

The winter emptied me.
Strickened me.
Forced me to sleep.

But, it's almost time to awaken, with wide eyes and no shades;to press my hands up from the thawing soil of my grave

and bloom.


5 comments:

lisa said...

I'm ready for the warmth, shy and worn, I'm ready to jump to my feet and whirl like a jewelry box ballerina. I'm ready to breathe in the salty breath of living. This winter more than ever before . . . I'm ready to emerge.

Thanks for this, Claudia.

daisymarie said...

I feel the sun warm on my face and the crispness of the air made me stop to catch my breath. There was a lightness to my step that caught me by surprise! It is good...It is God.

upwords said...

Soul spring. How I need it. Thanks for this glorious reminder. It was so good I'm going back to read it again. :)

markwashere said...

rags,

looking at the colors you paint, i'm curious as to what it would be like to be you. as onlookers, our vantage point is from underneath. your writing rather "descends" on us like that snowfall you so ecstatically described. however, you as the sieve through which this beautiful art comes, must have a different view. how you see things. it must be like viewing a violent storm from above such that you can see the darkness swirling beneath you but also see daylight above you. i don't understand it all. sometimes i'm overloaded by its very potency. many of your pieces are so intensely intimate that i can stand taking them in no more than i can stand looking directly at the sun. you're simultaneously common and enigmatic, accessible and esoteric. still can't quite figure out know what to do with you, but thank God you're here.

amen.

[mC2]

Mim said...

Sweet honey and love emerge from your text! Thank you for this gift of rememberance! Many Blessings! mim