Thursday, August 12, 2004

Television Ministry

I went to church. It was Great Faith Ministries in Detroit, and Bishop Wayne T. Jackson is the pastor. Yeah, I called his name. It was like *that*. I'm still a little upset about the whole thing.

This was about ten years ago. Ken and I were doing, what the old timers call 'cuttin' a fool'. There are other names for what Ken and I were doing, and we shouldn't have been doing any of it because we weren't married yet. This raggedy lifestyle was getting to me, and Jesus was having a problem with it, also. So, off to church I go, and I don't even know why I chose this church. I wasn't a member, and it wasn't even close to home. Maybe I was just hurting, and the place looked real good on television.

So there I was. The service was good, and the preaching was decent, but my favorite part was coming.

Altar call.

Let me tell you, raga can work an altar. It's something about them; they get me all down to my toes. It doesn't matter who's doing the calling during an altar call, when that altar opens up, they become Jesus, and Lamb of God, I come. I'll practically run the Lord over I get up there so fast.

Jesus called, and I ran to that altar like I was on fire and didn't remember to stop, drop, and roll. This was a special altar call. It was for fornicators like myself, who desperately needed to have that demon cast out, and replaced by a squeeky clean marriage angel, or something. I'm a little unsure what it was now. I'm a charismatic, and anything is liable to happen in church. In any case, whatever they were passing out on that altar, I needed a lot more than that nasty you-know-what demon.

I laid out before the Lord. I got to lifting my hands in the air, snotting and crying, and sorry for my sins. I'm serious. This was painful. I was hurt. I was hollering and screaming, and if it had been a different kind of church, one of those nurses that really aren't nurses would have gotten a hold of me, and got to ministering with her little smelling salts or something. I'm all folded up and beat down, crying out to the Lord. There was a young worship leader singing. His name is Fred Hammond. Yes, that one. You know this wasn't fair. An altar call for fornicators and luscious voiced Fred Hammond was singing "I am healing." Over and over. I came undone.

But the Lord met me there, and indeed, I was healing.

About a week later I get a phone call from one of my school mates at the Christian College I attended. "Turn it on channel (such and such), girl." This seemed like an innocent request.

Negative.

If you thought I was upset on that altar, you should have seen me when I looked on television, and there I was, snotting and crying, tore up from the floor up, in living color. When I regained consciousness, I became my own Edvard Munch painting, only my Silent Scream wasn't silent. You can choose your sin, but you can't choose the consequences. I was on television, looking crazy in front of Wayne T. Jackson's veiwing audience.

Oh God!!!! How many people is that??? Don't they show that in Ohio??? Oh. MY. GAWD!!!!!

I was the featured broke down heifer on the altar. It would be different if I possessed the kind of delicate beauty that actually looks pretty crying. I looked like doo doo. And it was plain to everyone who saw it. Especially to me. The camera stayed on me. Honestly, it was like they knew they would never have that kind of high drama again. I know that tape is going to come back and haunt me one day. I just know it.

I've hated television ministries ever since.

Coming to an altar near you (and please, no pictures).
God's raga.

12 comments:

upwords said...

Girl,

You trying to make me come through this machine and slap you for making me laugh like that. Nurses that aren't nurses, with smelling salts? Don't make me scream. You shouldn't have been spying on my childhood church like that. Them ladies look like they be moving slow, didn't they? But let somebody try and even pretend to fall out, they'd be on you like a superhero with one of those big mortuary fans.

Now about this tv thing...They were dead wrong, girl. You know they were. But you know what? You were better than the preaching. More folks bowed down and scraped the paint off the wall repenting than you'll ever know this side of heaven. That wasn't your punishment. It was your blessing. I'll bet it's one of God's favorite clips. And believe, when you meet Fred again, he'll remember you. One worshipper can always recogize another, especially those who lay down their masks for Spirit and Truth. Thanks for busting my gut and warming my heart. You got range girl, you make me laugh and cry. Imagine that.

Blessings,
Mary G
http://rhythmsofgrace.blogspot.com

Geo said...

Hey Sis,
You said you looked like do do.
Well awhile back when I thought I had ruined everything good in my life I told Daddy, " Lord I have made a pile of shit of my life"!
To which He replied to me, " Son I take piles of shit and cause beautiful sweet smelling roses to grow from them"! He said the way to get champion roes is to grow them in the manure of life!

You my dear are a beautiful "Champion Rose"!

Peace

bobbie said...

george and mary g have said it far better than i ever could, but the vision you have given me this morning was just what i needed - my shoulders are still shaking with laughter!

i agree that there should be no shame in repentance, you ministered greatly that day (and of course on the telecast too)! :)

SteveW said...

Wow, a "champion rose" that started with champion brokeness before the whole world. You smell sweet sis.

eddie{F} said...

Coming to an altar near you (and please, no pictures) -
and absolutely not FLASH photography. Sounds like some surreal event that could happen in Disney or Universal Studios.

This was so funny, and so sad. Loved it!
your ragabro
eddie
%)

Jaime H. said...

>>>I'll practically run the Lord over I get up there so fast.

LOL...too funny!

Oh, but how embarrassing!

Jaime
www.achorshope.blogspot.com

Cindy said...

Wow...this was the first time I visited your blog, and what a great story! Oh my. I don't blame you for being upset.

By the way, lilywhite me first saw the nurses-that-aren't-nurses at a funeral for the father of my son's best friend a few years ago, at a prominent African-American church here. That funeral was amazing!

Awesome blog. (I arrived here from a link on Lisa Samson's site.)

Anonymous said...

although funny , I think your thoughts were a little selfish.maybee the reason why the church showed you on television was to show the world that God has the power to heal broken lives not to make you look bad. thousands of other people who were struggling with the same issue were set free from that issue when they saw God setting you free!! it,s not all about you.

Anonymous said...

Hi I am a member of Great Faith Ministries and Please be careful about what you say about the Man of God. Thank you

Anonymous said...

Hi I am a member of Great Faith too and I am glad that you received some type of deliverance for your situation. If the television thing bothered you that bad why didn't you call the ministry to and ask to not show you again? Further, I have gone to Great Faith Ministries for over 20 years and I have seen the Lord heal people from cancer and many other diseases. Bishop Jackson is a true man of God full of faith and integrity. We do extend anothr invitation to you to visit our church but in the mean time address your issues with this church and Bishop Jackson because they are good people!
May God bless you

pastor michael said...

I don't think you understand.This was not about you. This was the move GOD. See the devil can't move on you with this sin anymore but you gave him new outlook to use to attack television ministry. I know you are saint, but it not alway about you someone else needed to see this because they need to be release from this same sin. Don't you see GOD used you and the this television ministry to take down the strong hold. You were use to save souls. Just like solider give their life to protect the army.
God Bless
Pastor Michael

ragamuffin diva said...

Dear EVERYBODY,

This was a way to poke fun at myself. It wasn't serious. God can take my jokes. I'm not going to stop my heavenly Father from doing anything because of this one silly blog entry.

And here's another thing. Bishop Jackson has a huge ministry, and he too, can take my jokes. Trust me, if anything hurts what he's doing, it certainly won't be this ragamuffin.

So... relax. Everything is cool.