Sunday, August 22, 2004

Faithfulness

I went into the sanctuary. The lights were low, the music was soft, and the people of God, reverent. I don't know the song the band was playing when I arrived, but no one was singing. Kirk asked us to take a moment and, as he is fond of saying, "Do some business with God." Since I am becoming a frequent customer of God's, a little more business with Him seemed like a good idea to me.

I began to pray. I sat down and told the Lord how brave I was trying to be, and how hard I was trying to really have faith. I didn't cry like I did this morning at The Vineyard. I just told Him how much I needed Him, and was looking to Him for help. I sat there, whispering my heart to God, rocking back and forth, and knowing, in some tiny space inside of me, that He hears.

And then, the music changed.

The first notes stirred a memory from way back. It was longer than three years like when I remembered Better Is One Day. What is that song? It's not Sonic Flood, or Delirious, or Passion, or Matt Redmond--standard fare at Frontline Church. This was an old, old song and used the kings English. It was precisely what I needed to hear.


Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

At first I stood mute and dazed, knowing. This song was my gift, and God's voice was in it, speaking tenderly to me. My hands lifted, and a montage of God's love flashed in brilliant, Living color on the big screen in my heart. Wilderness, desert, sunshine and storm, I saw my walk with God as the continuum that it is, an unbroken circle of favor, mercy, and grace. My God. He's never, ever, ever let me down.

I tried to sing the familiar refrain, but my sobs prevented me, and so the Lord did something mercy full.

He sang to me.

He sang of His new mercies freely given, every day of my life. He sang of His hand ever extended, offering everything I need. He assured me of His faithfulness, like a gentle, attentative Daddy. I don't know if my face was so wet because of my tears, or the rain of His love, being poured out on me. After I while, I was finally able to sing back to Him:

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Even now as I write this, hours after service is over, the tears still shine in my eyes. He hasn't stopped singing to me, and He repeats His refrain:

Great is My faithfulness!
Great is My faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies receive.
All You have needed My hand hath provided;
Great is My faithfulness, child, unto thee!

"Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23 NIV

In the Love and provision of the God who is ever Faithful,
and eager to give us more than we are capable of wanting,
tenderly,
His raga

3 comments:

upwords said...

Thank you. :)
Mary

Jaime H. said...

Beautiful.

Teary with you,

Jaime
www.achorshope.blogspot.com

bobbie said...

oh claudia, you are a beacon to me. even in the middle of what you are facing to be so sure, so unwavering. bless you. god's richest blessing on you.